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Teenage Handmodels


Thu 21 Feb 2013, 8:00pm

Where: The Standard Bowl, Level 3, 383 Bourke Street, Surry Hills, New South Wales

Restrictions: 18+

Ticket Information:

  • General Admission: $7.50 ($5.00 + $2.50 fees)
  • Eventfinda tickets no longer on sale


Listed by: thestandard

"Teenage Hand Models are the worst band in Sydney. They are the antithesis of any sort of progression in a burgeoning local music scene. Considering they’ve only been a band for a few months (which already feels like far too long), the fact that more and more people are turning up to their shows has baffled punters and members themselves.

They’ve steadily been absorbing people who vaguely resemble musicians in an ever-changing line-up resulting in an abundance of unnecessaries; apparently last show one of them had to resort to playing a keg with a pair of twigs. They’re actually playing a show at the Dale right now, as I’m writing this public service announcement from home, because I’d rather be standing on my own sticky carpet watching a tearjerker with Mrs. Palmer, probably excreting higher quality produce than their entire repertoire.

Latest release ‘Nek Minnit’ is a full-blown retard explosion inspired by Chinese water torture. The hook for ‘My Head’s so Fucked’ is so blunt you could safely use it pick out dangleberries from your arse hair. It’s impossible to tell where their influences come from because the entire project itself is uninspired and will leave you so deflated you’ll want to pack up and move to Melbourne.

They may have smiles on their faces when they’re playing, but if you’ve broken through the barrier of psychiatric shock and manage to laugh, be reassured you’re laughing at them, not with them. Go see them at least once, because support live music, try new things, know your enemy blah blah blah."

- Patrick Ewing

With supports Slow to Die, Collin Jones and special guests. Entry at the door is $5.