Silent Knight

What’s under the stairs? A wizard boy? No. ‘Tis John the Knight. John has been readying his pauldron legs and cheese-crusted toes for a small all-out war between a moth duct taped to your nan’s fork collection and a medium-sized bear with porridge ears.

Oh, and he’s gonna do it without talking. BOOM.

In this absurd boy’s zestful-fantasy tale, a toaster waffle eats himself, a dog sermonizes to a bucket of pom poms, knights ride brooms and witches ride princesses, scrambled eggs become spelling mistakes, and Oliver Cowen (star of show) bumps his knee rather hard on something pointy. Yes, it has been 100% confirmed that all of the aforementioned things absolutely definitely happen in this show, no worries mate.

If you like shows in which things happen, then literally go to any show ever. Where have you been living? Under a bunion? Good. This show’s for you.